Why CBT isn’t about positive thinking.

If the idea of CBT was to help people by teaching them to ‘think positive’ then cognitive behavioural therapy would not exist. CBT definitely is not about positive thinking. I promise you. This is a huge misconception. Actually in my opinion the cognitive (thought) element CBT is about teaching people to think factually, realistically, logically and reasonably, whilst taking into account feelings and behaviours. A few months ago I needed CBT therapy after going through a difficult time. I said to my therapist. ‘Things in my life at the moment are shit’. She agreed, there was no refuting the fact that in the current circumstances, things were ‘shit’ this was not a thinking error, or distortion. The amount of trauma I had and was continuing to experience and having just been diagnosed with several medical conditions and not long having been in hospital culminated in a state of what most people would agree was shittiness (does that have one or two t’s?). However, if I had just broken a nail but everything else in my life was relatively ok and then said ‘things in my life at the moment are shit’ this would be an example of a cognitive distortion, namely overgeneralisation and catastrophising. You can read more about cognitive distortions in this article from Harley Therapy. Nonethleses, in both of these situations, being told to ‘think positive’ would have absolutely no effect whatsoever. It’s as much use as telling somebody to fall in love with a washing machine, it just isn’t going to happen. CBT is about whether you believe or ‘buy into your thoughts’. We are all in the habit of believing our own thoughts, unfortunately we cannot always be relied upon to think logically or factually. We often engage in emotional reasoning ‘I feel bad therefore things must be bad’ or ‘I feel fantastic therefore everything is fantastic’. Yes we do get it right sometimes, but as in the case of depression, or OCD we cannot always trust the validity of our thoughts. So if we can’t just ‘think positive’ what do we do? We QUESTION our thoughts, we challenge them, we change our behaviour. Overtime this process can actually lead to a change in the type or frequency of the thoughts we have, hopefully they will be more realistic, and as a bonus more positive. This is what CBT is really about. It’s not about thinking positive. However, sometimes when things are shitty we need to learn to accept that, and that is a whole other blog post in itself, so I shall sign off now.

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CBT – Why some people might not like it.

In this video I talk about some of the reasons I think people have a bad experience with, or don’t like CBT. It touches on various things such as the way CBT is delivered, people’s expectations and cognitive behavioural therapy for chronic pain and chronic illness. I’d be really interested to get people feedback on it, and wonder if anyone who has had CBT can relate to any of the issues that I address.

Fitness to Practice – Why I’ve not been blogging.

It’s been a while hasn’t it folks! As some of you may know I live with quite a few chronic illnesses. Unfortunately I have had a flare up of some of them, whilst other symptoms are still being investigated. I am currently not well enough to practice CBT and have not been for the majority of this year. I wanted to blog about this not only to give an update, but to remind everybody how important it is when you work in a caring profession to be aware of your fitness to practice. Put as concisely as I possibly can, I am not fit to practice as my symptoms currently affect my ability to be able to travel, and my ability to be able to concentrate for various different reasons. Mental health work and CBT is my absolute passion (something I have dedicated many hours to in training and work) and it hurts deeply not to be able to practice. However, I have reached a certain level of acceptance meaning I finally felt able to write this blog post. I am not going to expand on my feelings about this here as it is very personal and it would be inappropriate in a public setting. I am looking to the future to hopefully finding answers to some of my symptoms and finding effective treatment, and for those conditions already diagnosed, adjusting treatment to get them back under control. For any other people with chronic illnesses

Please send any spare spoons my  way!

Please send any spare spoons my way!

(or Spoonies as we are affectionately known see Spoon Theory as to why) you may relate that a flare up of one condition often sets off another! The road to being able to be fit to practice again is probably going to be a long journey. I sincerely hope that going through all of this will make me a better therapist one day, and if nothing else I am certainly getting a great opportunity to practice what I preach. CBT may not ‘cure’ long term health conditions, but for me personally, it helps me to cope with the impact of them somewhat. In the meantime, if anyone has any spare spoons…. please send them my way!!!

How it feels to be bullied on twitter

 “Thank you, I’m glad you told me the truth, I would have worried you were terminally ill otherwise”. This statement is indicative of why I will continue to self-disclose despite being bullied on twitter.

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The other night I was taking part in a really great scheduled mental health chat on twitter about CBT. Obviously I was really excited, I participate in this group chat most weeks and I was so pleased that this week’s topic was one so dear to my heart. I was talking about how I find self-disclosure to be an effective therapeutic tool. After the chat two other mental health professional people started saying; it was a fact that self-disclosure was never appropriate, that my behaviour was unethical, unacceptable and that I must be youngish, inexperienced and ‘done a course in CBT (inferring I was not properly trained)’ and were worried. These people know absolutely nothing about my clinical practice, and have no right to make assumptions about me as a person or my professional conduct. I am not sure which professional body they belong to, but raising concerns on twitter and making defamatory statements about another clinician is breech of the British Psychological Society’s social media policy. Of course it is ok to have differences of opinion, I frequently have differing views to those of other professionals on twitter. However, differences in opinion should always be expressed in a respectful way and never become personalised or accusatory, especially in a public forum.

I usually regard myself as a confident and assertive person, but to be harassed in this way and have my professional integrity attacked was extremely upsetting. If someone as usually resilient as me can feel so hurt, then it begs the question as to how severely affected those that are at a particularly vulnerable time in their life could be when on the receiving end of such nastiness?

The other side of the situation is this. So many mental health services users, psychologists, therapists and other mental health workers publicly and privately gave their support to me, and nobody condoned their behaviour. I am so touched by all the support I have received, I sincerely thank each and every one of you.

These tweeters took issue with the fact that I tweet about my medical problems and posted a photo of myself in a hospital gown. I feel very strongly that having long term health conditions are nothing to be ashamed of, and I never hide them from my clients. In fact the frequency of which I sometimes need to apply eye drops means it is impossible to hide from clients, and why would I need to anyway? I simply explain to clients in the first session why I need them. I believe telling people the truth, especially vulnerable clients, is much preferable to what people may imagine. For example, one client said to me “Thank you, I’m glad you told me the truth, I would have worried you were terminally ill otherwise”. How can I expect my client to learn to manage their long term or permanent health condition if I am actively trying to hide mine? I believe being open sends out a positive message, I have several chronic health conditions but I have learnt to manage them well, so I believe others can too. My health problems shape who I am. There is no doubt they influence my therapeutic practice, but I believe for the better. For those who are lucky enough to be healthy they cannot possibly understand how it feels to have a permanent disability or illness, how it feels to have an unpredictable illness, or live with chronic pain. That is not to say that therapists need to have personal experience to deliver effective CBT, but the added lived experience and personal insight I can offer is sometimes very powerful for clients, an added bonus of having me as therapist if you like.

So I will continue to tweet photos of me looking fabulous in my hospital gown, and raise awareness about eye health and adverse reactions to medication by sharing my own publically! If people do not like it, they do not have to have me as a therapist. There are plenty of therapists out there that will reveal absolutely nothing about themselves, and that is fine – I see no reason for me to criticise them, we simply have a different approach. I refuse to shy away from public media for fear of criticism. I have blocked those two individuals on twitter, I no longer respect or have any interest in what they have to say. My wonky spine and I (shhhhh I have scoliosis don’t tell anyone!) will be tweeting for a long time to come. I am chronically ill, but I am also chronically fabulous!

What really goes through my head when I get dressed for work.

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What do you wear when you are working as a therapist? Read on to find out how I choose my clothes, and why I wear the things I do. Fashion and CBT not the most likely of topics, but a subject that I find quite intriguing. 

When I first started my CBT training, I asked my clinical supervisor ‘what should I wear when I start to see clients?’ He looked at me puzzled and replied ‘Clothes, Alieshia!’. ‘Very funny’, I said but seriously, I said, ‘how do I know what to wear?’. He looked at me again and could see I genuinely wanted advice. He said ‘as a woman you don’t want to wear anything that is too revealing, simply because it is too distracting for clients’. I said ‘yes, I had already thought that, I have never worn anything that shows my cleavage or is too short whenever I have worked in the caring profession. I agree. But apart from that how do I know what to wear?’ He looked at me again, surprised that I still was not satisfied with his answer. He looked down at himself and said, ‘I just wear this’. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a polo shirt. I looked at him and said ‘Yes, that is fine, but you have many years of experience and look your age, I don’t’.

My issue is that I look very young. Only the other week my new cardiologist started asking my Mum about my usual energy levels at home. My Mum had to turn round and say, sorry Dr S****** but Alieshia lives with her husband, she is actually 29. He turned round and apologised to me, he had thought I was still a teenager, living at home.

I feel that if I turned up to meet clients in a polo shirt and jeans that I would look so young that they may doubt my clinical capability and lose confidence in the therapeutic process, which would be counter-productive. For me personally it’s important for me to dress in a way that looks professional and choose an outfit that makes me look at least 20, I mean this sincerely, I do not jest. I have discussed clothing with some other therapists. My colleagues do not have the age issue to contend with but are honest with me, and can understand why it is important for me to dress in way which enhances my age.

So aside from the age issue, what other factors are there to consider when I dress for work?

For me I think it’s great that my first clinical supervisor wore casual clothes. On one level, I believe what you wear should not matter, CBT is a collaboration and not a platform for power dressing. By wearing jeans, it could convey the message that ‘I am relaxed, it’s ok for you to be too’. I can particularly appreciate how this might be great when working with children and young people. Business attire can sometimes be intimidating. However for me personally I believe that dressing smartly (not a three piece suit or anything, but smart trousers, top and shoes) conveys to my client ‘I respect you and have made an effort to dress this way. I am a professional and I want you to have confidence in that from everything, from the way I speak, the content of what I say, the way I conduct myself and what I wear’.

Some therapeutic approaches discourage from any personal expression and therapists will wear exactly the same outfit, or extremely similar clothing to each session. CBT is not like that, I have never come across any literature that discusses proper work attire! I still feel able to express my personality through my clothing and make-up without being distracting to my clients, whilst still being professional. What do you think about what your therapist wears? Are you a mental health professional, have you ever considered your work attire? Let me know in the comments below, or send me a tweet.

On a final note I shall leave you with this memory…… I wore a yellow top one day with matching yellow nail polish. In the morning my client said to me ‘Alieshia, you look like a ray of sunshine’. The next day my supervisor said to me (I had a different top on, but the same nail polish) ‘Alieshia, that is the most disgusting colour nail polish I have ever seen. It’s horrible’. Make of that what you will!

My personal philosophy word photograph

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I designed this tonight. Thinking in this way reminds me of the fluidity of life and has help me through some very tough times. This is the best way I could succinctly communicate this in a phrase. What do you think? Can you relate to this or is it a new concept for you? Do you have a favourite inspirational quote or affirmation? Please share by commenting below or on my twitter or Facebook page.

Thank you

I just wanted to write a quick post to say thank you for all the feedback I have received for my blog. I really appreciate all the comments, tweets and Facebook messages and read them all. I have had an enormous amount of support and am so pleased that so many people find this blog interesting and keep coming back to read more! Keep letting me know your suggestions for future topics. I hope this finds you healthy and happy 🙂