We are not mentally strong or mentally weak. We are mentally human.
How many times have you heard someone say ‘S/he must be so strong to cope with what she does’? Or how about ‘some people are just weaker than others’ – how many times have you heard a statement like this or something similar?
These statements suggest that the way in which each of us reacts to different situations in life is dependent on how ‘strong ‘ we are. If we believe this then by association we must also buy into the idea that those who become extremely distressed by certain events, to the point of clinical depression, anxiety or psychosis are ‘weak’. I don’t know about you, but that sounds wrong to me.
We are all here, not of our own choosing, we just happened to be born. We did not choose our individual genetic makeup, the parents we would be born to, or the socio-economic situation we would be in. Some psychologists believe that we are born with a certain set of personality traits, some more dominant than others. For example I am an extrovert, there is no getting away from it, but I did not choose to be that way.
Rather than thinking about the way people respond to distress as being a sign of strength or weakness, I think it is much kinder to think of the way people react as being somewhere on a continuum of resilience. For example the chemicals, neurotransmitters, hormones and structure of my brain perhaps do not predispose me to schizophrenia or psychosis. Does this mean I am ‘stronger’ than someone with schizophrenia? I don’t think so. I think I am lucky, that my particular anatomy means that I do not develop psychosis.
Let us consider depression. If I were to lose my job, feel down about it for a while and then feel optimistic about finding a new one, does that mean the person who is made-redundant and becomes extremely depressed, with feelings of hopelessness about their future is weak. I do not think so either. Perhaps that person does not have a close support network of friends and family around them, or perhaps they know that if they cannot pay their rent they will end up homeless. Even if were to take two people who have exactly the same life experiences and encounter a difficult life situation, and one becomes extremely anxious whilst the other remains calm, does it mean they are ‘weak’. I don’t think so, perhaps their particular set of hormones, chemicals and all the other physical parts of their humanness mean that are more biologically geared to respond with anxiety. So for whatever reason, I think that in different situations we all have different levels of resilience when we are faced with a potentially distressing situation. Our levels of resilience are often influenced by elements that our out of our control; biologically, socially and economically. I hope this makes you think more kindly about others and yourself. We are not mentally strong or mentally weak. We are mentally human.